Vulnerable

So yesterday was my first driving lesson again.

It made me vulnerable. I HATE vulnerability. If anything I try my best to avoid it. The problem with this is that I never have time to fully process my emotions. 

But yesterday I had pride, fear and anger. I fought not to show my driver's instructor how afraid I was. But my fear could be smelt from a mile away. 

I don't think I can hide my emotions anymore. The moment I figured out that he knew I was afraid I became so rigid to listen to instructions. 

And I did something that seems way too familiar but isn't a routine. I asked the Holy Spirit for help. And a voice told me that it's okay to let my guard down. It's okay not to know and if I learn that I can finally be open to learning how to drive.

This freaked me out. It worked for a few minutes before fear kicked back in and had me mess up. 

So I guess being vulnerable sometimes is okay. It's something I am struggling with but I hope with time I'll learn...